Within the Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay and Transgendered culture it is acknowledged and celebrated that sex and sexuality exist within diversity. Indeed, there are several subcultures that orbit the BLGT community and overlap each other as a sexual venn diagram--BDSM, polyamory, swinging, fetishism and cuckolding to name a few. Mainstream culture does not seem to acknowledge or celebrate this diversity or in some instances even acknowledge it. While New York has joined a growing number of states that recognizes the Lesbian and Gay communities by granting them the right to get married--many of the subcultures mentioned above and most especially bisexuality are not accepted or acknowledged. At least not without bias and double standards.
"We live in a society where sex is somehow shameful and should not be talked about - but we use sex to sell cars. That is backwards. Human sexuality is a blessed gift to be honored and celebrated not twisted and distorted into something demeaning and shameful." -Robert BurneyMany within the community must wonder from time to time why bisexuality is subject to such scrutiny and prejudice--especially for bisexual men. Words like "hetero privilege" are thrown around without much explanation and many myths of bisexuality plague the community setting us back months or years with their harshness. Watching our fellows within in the community-- the "L" and the "G" within the BLGT spectrum in particular--enjoy success leaves us feeling hopeful for our own culture while wondering what is so different about the "B." Being bisexual is about far more than sexual promiscuity and selfishness as mentioned in the "myths" referenced earlier--though it seems to go unnoticed by many in both the heterosexual and other branches within the BLGT community. One possibility that seems to be largely unexplored is the juxtaposition of a sex shaming culture when held against a community that is so proud of their sexuality that it flaunts said sexuality in its on label.
Bisexual. The very name implies sex. To admit that one is bisexual is to admit that one will be having sex. The gay and lesbian community have been able to draw a distinction between their individuality and their sexuality which could very possibly lend itself to being a reason why they have achieved a modicum of acceptance. One cannot be bisexual without escaping sex, however. When exploring objections to bisexuality one need only explore what is and is not acceptable to see very logical correlations. For example, an expose of a priest giving in to his baser desires with a prostitute is cause for public derision and disgust--a politician engaging in sexting is reason enough why he may no longer be a public servant--because these things are not considered culturally acceptable. Many religions allow their officials to marry and have families which would of course require a sexual relationship--yet our culture demands chastity of religious figures. Politicians exhibit their humanity through sexual expression and are driven from office while we ourselves likely know people within our peer groups engaging in this same behavior. None of them losing their jobs. These examples provide proof that perceived sexual deviancy is an obstacle to overcome for more than just bisexuals--and that any perceived act of sexual deviancy is to be punished.
While we may not be able to definitively claim that a lack of bisexual acceptance is the result of proverbially wearing our sexuality on our sleeves, it may be worth investigating in more detail. Acceptance of marriage equality is not the result of campaigning for homosexual marriage, but rather gay marriage. In a sex shaming culture; one that labels any "abnormal sexual expression" as deviancy--or in more extreme cases mental illness--the correlation cannot be ignored. Bisexuals proudly admit that we enjoy and gain gratification from an aspect of sexuality that is outside the social norm--as do all within the BLGT community--we just happen to have the reminder of sex in the bisexual label. This cannot be the only issue to blame, however, as conformity and deviance are relative terms that are always changing and evolving. The aforementioned acceptance of the Gay and Lesbian community and progress in the arena of marriage equality are testament to this fact.
Whether the label "bisexual" is a hindrance to acceptance in whole or in part--the acceptance being fought for will be much easier to achieve when sex in general is not considered shameful or demeaning. Sexual acceptance--in all its diverse glory--will undoubtedly lead to bisexual acceptance.
Image Credit: "Sexual Deviance and Abusive Relationships" via Weeks Design dot net
This issue has been being discussed in the bisexual community for decades now. In part, words like pansexual and fluid, or simply calling oneself queer, came into being to get away from the stigmatized word "bisexual." A lot of younger bisexuals simply refuse to label themselves at all.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a lot of bisexuals are reclaiming the word, just as the word queer has been reclaimed, and using it with pride. Those who have tried to make it shameful were gay and straight people who hated bisexuals, and who have been trying to destroy our community, so we use it loudly and defiantly. There is nothing wrong with being sexual, and there is nothing wrong with loving all genders.